Year of the Child - Tracie Thoms/Brandon Uranowitz.mp3

[00:00.094](Jason practicing reciting Hebrew)
[00:24.142]TRINA: Jason dear, hello.
[00:27.351]Are you packed and waiting?
[00:30.318]But before we go,
[00:33.229]Let me talk with father alone.
[00:36.227]Now as the bar mitzvah nears-
[00:39.266]Jason, put your walkerman on and hum.
[00:42.466]Since this is the last loving thing we'll probably ever do together,
[00:46.255]Let's act adult and not go crazy.
[00:49.006]MARVIN: Have you chosen yet who'll cater?
[00:51.462]TRINA: What about it?
[00:52.430]MARVIN: I know a person who can cater. (TRINA: It's a personal opinion who should cater. )
[00:55.621]Can we consider who's gonna cater? (TRINA: Shh!)
[00:59.055]Please? (TRINA: Ahh!)
[00:59.779]Please! ( TRINA: Shh!)
[01:00.951]MENDEL: Stop! This is so much crap,
[01:04.322]Throw a simple party!
[01:05.766]Religion's just a trap
[01:08.807]That ensnares the weak and the dumb.
[01:10.818]Hey! Stop with the prayers.
[01:12.632]TRINA: How can you 'stop with the prayers' at a bar mitzvah?
[01:16.504]MENDEL: The whole thing's voodoo,
[01:17.895]And I know more than you do!
[01:19.859]MARVIN AND TRINA: This is the year of Jason's bar mitzvah!
[01:25.739]We're more excited than we should be.
[01:28.914]This is the year of the child when he spreads out his wings!
[01:34.184]There's music in his heart!
[01:36.998]His life's about to start!
[01:39.920]His body's going wild!
[01:42.551]My child-
[01:47.538]MARVIN: My child-
[01:49.948]TRINA: Our child.
[01:52.173]MENDEL: Children, please.
[01:54.485]Throw the kid a celebration and relax.
[01:59.227]I'll bring women from the wrong side of the tracks.
[02:03.186]We'll have a ball!
[02:05.771]I guess I'll have to raise this Jason myself.
[02:11.463]MARVIN: Isn't he an asshole? (MENDEL: My own bar mitzvah was...)
[02:13.407]TRINA: Yes, he is.(MENDEL: A miserable occasion.)
[02:14.566]MARVIN: Isn't he too much?
[02:15.782]TRINA: Yes, but so are you. Really, kiddo, so are you. (MENDEL: The cause for such abrasion in my family!)
[02:18.277]MARVIN: Jesus, he's an asshole! (MENDEL: It still gives me hives!) Jason, where's my hug?
[02:21.829]TRINA: Where's my hug?
[02:22.448]MARVIN, TRINA, and MENDEL: This is the year for Jason's bar mitzvah,
[02:28.768]This is the year for Jason's bar mitzvah!
[02:34.654](doorbell rings)
[02:36.005]CHARLOTTE: Look, look, look, look, look! It's a lesbian from next door!
[02:41.354]CORDELIA: Followed by her lover who's a lesbian from next door too!
[02:45.854]And I've got food for you,
[02:47.315]Delicious food for you!
[02:49.430]Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine! (TRINA: Ah?)
[02:52.293]CORDELIA: Here's dietetic knishes, gefilte fishes, food that's from the heart!
[02:57.512]So take a bite and see
[02:59.603]If all your friends agree
[03:01.073]It's good!
[03:02.024]EVERYONE but JASON: Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yum!
[03:06.478]We'll have one perfect time!
[03:09.365]We'll spend billions of dollars!
[03:11.810]TRINA: Conga!
[03:12.502]EVERYONE but JASON: We'll have flowers galore,
[03:15.593]And the band will sound fine!
[03:18.960]There'll be chandeliers set round the room
[03:22.328]With the men in tuxedos!
[03:26.754]There'll be food, like food never before!
[03:29.882]What a day to remember!
[03:34.685]This is the year of Jason's bar mitzvah!
[03:40.517]JASON: They're more excited than they should be.
[03:42.948]EVERYONE but JASON: This is the year of the child when he spreads out his wings!
[03:48.256]There's music in his heart!
[03:51.189]His life's about to start!
[03:54.147]His body's going wild!
[03:57.343]My-
[04:00.302]ALL: (breaking off and harmonizing) Child!